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Free 24-hour Hotline. Help available in English and Spanish.
Hotline: 1-844-789-SAFE (7233)
Text “SAFE BERKS” to 20121
We can help you or someone you know
Here are some ways to help a friend who is being abused:
- Set up a time to talk. Try to make sure you have privacy and won’t be distracted or interrupted.
- Let your friend know you’re concerned about her or his safety. Be honest. Tell him or her about times when you were worried. Help your friend see that what she or he is going through is not right. Let her or him know you want to help.
- Be supportive. Listen to your friend. Keep in mind that it may be very hard for most people to talk about abuse. Tell your friend that they are not alone, and that people want to help.
- Offer specific help. You might say you are willing to just listen, to help with childcare, or to provide transportation, for example.
- Don’t place shame, blame, or guilt on your friend. Don’t say, “You just need to leave.” Instead, say something like, “I get scared thinking about what might happen to you.” Tell her you understand that her situation is very difficult.
- Help your friend create a safety plan. Safety Planning includes picking a place to go and packing important items.
- Encourage your friend to talk to someone who can help. Offer to help her find a local domestic violence agency, such as Safe Berks. Offer to go with her or him to the agency, the police, or court.
- If your friend decides to stay, continue to be supportive. Your friend may decide to stay in the relationship, or she or he may leave and then go back many times. It may be hard for you to understand, but people stay in abusive relationships for many reasons. Be supportive, no matter what your friend decides to do.
- Encourage your friend to do things outside of the relationship. It’s important for her to see friends and family.
- If your friend decides to leave, continue to offer support. Even though the relationship was abusive, she or he may feel sad and lonely once it is over. Your friend also may need help getting services from agencies or community groups.
- Keep in mind that you can’t “rescue” your friend. She or he has to be the one to decide it’s time to get help. Support your friend no matter what decision they make.
More information on How to Help a Friend who is being Abused
- Help a Loved One (Copyright © Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) – This publication has tips on how to help someone who was sexually assaulted or abused.
- How Can I Help a Friend or Family Member Who is Being Abused? (Copyright © National Domestic Violence Hotline) – This publication gives advice to friends and family of abuse survivors on how to deal with the issue of domestic violence. Useful suggestions on how to approach the loved one and additional resources for help are provided.
- Tips for Helping a Friend (Copyright © Women’s Justice Center) – This website gives tips on how to help a friend who is in an abusive relationship, has survived sexual assault, or is trying to get help from the criminal justice system.
Learn More About Safe Berks Services for Women and Children in Crisis
We offer comprehensive support, including emergency shelter, one-on-one counseling for adults and children, safety planning, and legal assistance, ensuring survivors have the resources they need to find safety and begin healing.
How to get Help
Get the help you need
Contact Safe Berks
Reach out to our 24-hour hotline at 1-844-789-SAFE (7233) or text “SAFE BERKS” to 20121. Our trained advocates are available around the clock to provide immediate support and guidance.
Discuss Your Situation
Speak confidentially with one of our advocates. We will listen to your story without judgment and help you explore the best options for your safety and well-being.
Create a Safety Plan
Work with us to develop a personalized safety plan. This plan will help ensure you stay safe, whether you’re still in the relationship, planning to leave, or already have left.